On Deaf Ears

Fresh off their scoop that Sarah Palin had shot a Sasquatch, the Weekly World News has another earth-shaker.

At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother.

The boyish looking half brother of undetermined age had been living in a cave in the Karura Forest outside Nairobi, until he was recently discovered by Dr. Robert Ndesango of Kenyatta University.  Dr. Ndesango, who had been researching in the cave, was at first startled by the unusual boy, who quickly introduced himself as Obatma.   Soon enough, the boy was showing him his part of the cave and pictures he’d drawn on the walls.

Tests indicate that the boy mutant is indeed Barack Obama’s younger half brother; the two share a father but have different mothers.

But all is not normal in the McCain campaign either.

Following Sarah Palin’s emergence on the national stage, the blogosphere lit up with reports that Governor Palin does not actually hail from Wasilla, Alaska but from a planet known as Wazeela.

The tiny planet, which is located some 37,000 miles due east from the Sun, is known to be rich with fossil fuels that lie beneath snow-capped peaks.

If true, even if Sarah Palin had somehow managed to obtain US citizenship, she would not be eligible for the Office of the Vice-President, as she is not natural-born.  If this is verified, it will likely destroy the McCain campaign even as polls show that it still has a fighting chance of winning.

Hmmm…an alien comes to Earth and hunts big game.  Could she be from the same planet as…

Many more October surprises to come, I’m sure.